Summer's so close she can taste it, soft on her lips; an insect's little kiss.
It tastes salty, and a little like disappointment.
It tastes like an eternal whisper of, "look what you've done now."
You screwed it up again.
All you do is screw it up.
Summer is replaced by a promise of familiar failure.
She won't meet those people, won't make those friends
Won't ever share passionate words with a stranger on the subway.
Complacency, her old friend and playmate,
with whom she passes the hours, staring out the stained glass panels of her life
ever breathing, "What if?"
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It's very good but I don't know if the title fits the work... a promise has the feel of something concrete while complacency is a very fluid (almost a gelatin-like) word. You may have been going for that contrast but it seemed a little incongruous to me. Also, it was hard to tell what the main point of disappointment was. Was there a mistake that changed things or was the apathy, the slow decline, the source? Anyway, I still thought it was good writing and enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a promise of failure.
ReplyDeleteI wrote this as a kind of self-motivation to take chances in the upcoming months.
I liked it! It was very applicable to my life...I saw my self very clearly in it. I especially liked the ending, with complacency. v^.^ Kudos!
ReplyDeleteUncomfortably relatable, Stroodles.
ReplyDelete